how strange to be back in new york. even more strange, and somewhat frightening that, with every minute, it becomes less strange to be here. this is my little study/art space, this is my computer with all its viruses, this the planner i left behind - days dec 8 - 19 blank of u.s.-based obligations... and here's a whisper of something of the hk reality rapidly transforming into memory-smoke - a letter given to me by my swimming dongji the night before we were arrested, a letter i still have not applied dictionary to, still have not fully understood.... and sitting the page, a tiny picture of him that i carried through that final protest, through prison and through the air all the way back to here.
spent half of yesterday asleep and half crying. inspite of all i can count as gains - our message out, loud and clear, winning the hearts of the hk people, solidarity built among people from all over the world, experience, knowledge and connection with nongmindeul gained by KEEP people - the equation is at least balanced if not weighted towards the other side - for me personally, so many moments when i could not communicate, or worse, communicated the wrong thing to the wrong person, the fact that we fled hk without saying good by to our dongji still in jail (most out now, by 11 or so to be tried) and, perhaps most devastating, the newspaper headlines read "A Deal!." time to gather the actions, learning, questions, and confusion and piece together this giant puzzle, build a complete, and hopefully beautiful (beautifully hopefully) picture.
why am i writing this? as with basically everything i chose to do it hk, it is as much for me as it is for the movement. looking for strength, looking for a way to add just a little...
what i want to write to all of you (my KEEP chingu, my comrades in the movement, and myself) is something like this - now that we are back and the fucking M6 has closed out with a shaky, but existant deal, the next step is both vague and very clear. the task we are faced with is more difficult than communicating across language, cultural and gender barriers and far more difficult than swimming across a cold harbor, bowing once every three steps from v park to the convention center, and facing riot police, tear gas, and stupid hk prison. for me it's even more difficult that not being able to fight as hard as i wanted to, than remembering my mistakes and than leaving without saying goodbye. the task is to carefully and skillfully build that puzzle eventhough we are not by our u.s. nature careful and skillful. and after we have done that, to look long and hard and with love at its picture and figure it out - figure out how (now back in our respective cities) to move the struggle forward with the same aggressive compassion, strength and will that was our privileged to share while we fought along side the kpl.